When the Brakes Give Out

I waved goodbye to my daughter and her friend as we left the mall. They went in one direction and I went in another, found my car and took off. Little did I know the wild ride I was about to embark upon!

The street I traveled drew near to one of Spokane’s bridges elevated over the freeway. Just before the bridge was a sweeping right-hand exit that I took. The one-way road continued to curve to the right – basically a switchback. Not too far into the curve I realized Houston had a problem.

The car was picking up speed but my foot on the brake met with no response. I Fred Flintstoned it and practically pushed my foot through to the pavement. No brakes. The car just continued gaining speed as my heart gained multiple beats. The fact that the driver’s side tires were edging over the left side of the road, which dropped off in a sheer cliff, instantly fried my nerves. There was not even one last good one. There were no guard rails on this stretch of road, and all I could do was grip the steering wheel in fear and attempt to keep the vehicle tightly following the curve to prevent its plunging over the edge.

A short stretch would have been one thing, but this curve seemed endless. Time seemed interminable even as I was traveling at such increased speed…like a rocket taking off through molasses. And then, just when I thought this extremely frightening ride was never going to come to an end, the curve completed its full turnabout, the road hit a straight stretch and I reached my destination, gliding smoothly into a parking spot and coming to a perfect stop.

Then I woke up.

I dreamed the above very real dream just about a year ago, sometime in the first few months of 2010. The Lord has given me dreams at times that I know are from Him. This was one of those times, though I would not understand the significance until months later when I was diagnosed with breast cancer a second time. I’ve been on that ride since July of 2010 and the sweeping curve continues while I hold on.

Though I could, in hindsight, wax somewhat eloquent about the dream, there is one piece I want to hone in on in this post. And that is the fear I felt – even unsettling me still when I was finally awake. After relating the dream to my husband, we both knew the vivid and lingering fear had a foothold somewhere, even though the dream ended with the safe arrival at my destination.

I went to the Lord in prayer about why I was so fearful. In His caring way, He gave me a picture that settled my heart. I still reflect on it whenever trepidation creeps in. It’s a solid reminder from Him:

I saw Him sitting in the driver’s seat with me seated next to Him in the passenger seat. The top was down, the wheel was in His competent hands, and my hair (which used to be long) was streaming out behind me even as the car was careening its way around the edge of the curve. We had grins on our faces and were in high spirits on this wild ride that ultimately saw me guided safely to a purposed end. Exhilarated, my response was “Let’s do that again!”

What changed this nerve-blowing, fear-inducing ride to one of shouts of laughter and a readiness to embrace the next great adventure? I dare say, it was all in the perspective the Lord showed me that day in prayer as I took a very real concern directly to Him and He showed me that not only was He present, but He had the situation under perfect control. I believed Him. The fear lifted and has not plagued me since.

Though I didn’t know the situation awaiting me at the time, His visitation to me through this dream and subsequent, sincere prayer became an altar where I placed myself in His safekeeping, to which I have returned numerous times throughout this cancer journey.

We’re all in a ‘vehicle’ of life. Sometimes when we least expect it, a sweeping curve takes us in a direction or on a ride we didn’t anticipate. Does it feel like the brakes are out? Are you finding yourself holding on for dear life, praying you don’t go over the edge? Does it feel like you’re left holding the wheel while control walked out the door? Is fear gripping your heart over a very real concern?

Have you looked to see where Jesus is in all your anxious thoughts? The answer is where it always is: in Him, the Living Word…

It is the LORD who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit—depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm]. Deuteronomy 31:8 (AMP)

Cruising with the One who’ll never leave us or forsake us to life’s sometimes out of control ride,

Gracefully Free