Vineyard Days – Three Years and a Lifetime Later

Three Years and a Lifetime Later

There is something so quietly settling when Shepherd Lover says it’s time for another spiritual getaway. I had another dream early this morning. It took me right back to Vineyard Days; this time, three years and a lifetime later.

For longtime readers of Wellspring and for newer readers, my first post introducing Vineyard Days was in April 2013. I hyperventilated just a bit as I checked the category for the beginning date. Where did 13 years go?? The truth is I do know and so I have written through the years. Life is being lived whether you’re a recorder of it or not.

When viewed through eternity planted in one’s heart, I have found that life as the beloved of Christ paints the journey of the Shulamite alongside one’s own life journey. He is The Master creating an inseparable masterpiece.

I’ll relate the dream in a bit; but first, a painting always begins with a canvas.

Ninety-Six and Sixty-Nine

Three years ago, our oldest sister was dying of cancer. What none of us knew was that our heavenly Father would call Home her husband, our brother-in-law, seven weeks before she passed through the Veil. The five linked posts at the end of this piece were written in early 2023 before they were gone in March and May. Holy Spirit was speaking in the midst of all that was part of the journey then. He still is, this time with our last parent, my sisters’ and my mother. While Cheryl awaits her heaven-side, Jan and I are, with our spouses and families, traversing with her in her late days.

Audrey turned 96 in early March. Five days later, I turned 69. The Lord loves a good chuckle as He paints by number…

For the record, our mother is on dementia-related hospice in a memory care center in my hometown. It is a slow progression that has been an unwelcome visitor for our mom, with a wearying effect upon her and us alongside her.

It is in this place of slogging through mud that I finally hit the wall. Are you familiar with that feeling? There are frustrating days, waiting days, planning days, working days, resting days, productive days…then there comes the day that it has all caught up with itself and bam! You hit the wall. My sis has been there. I recently left my forehead print.

If my husband’s and my original plan to make a day trip to see my mom today had gone off as planned, I would have missed the dream. Even in that, the Lord took hold of the reins and skooched us off our track in order to have me where He wanted me. We’d have been up early and out the door by the time He visited again under cover of dark.

As I Lay Dreaming

It was in that last hour before waking up for the day. A lengthy dream, a lot beforehand was left behind in dreamland. That which was pertinent remained. And, as He is wont to do with my dreams, this one was personal, while He is matchless in His ability to relate it to many of His offspring going through difficult, trying, or sad times –

I dreamt that I was holding a sheaf of papers my boss¹ had given me to proofread. The content was not clear to me in the dream; it was the act of proofreading it that was primary. He returned to where I was sitting on a sofa. I looked up at him and handed him the papers, remarking that I had to do very little editing! A few small grammatical corrections, a comma here, really not much. And then I said, “It is a wonderful piece. It is an alive word!” He agreed. He had written it; I had proofed it and gave it back to him. There was quiet, shared elation. We knew its many drafts.

Just then, another man came to fetch him, telling him his next meeting was waiting in the other room. They turned and walked through the door to go a short distance across the hall. As they did, I got up from the sofa and looked behind me. There, perched on the back of the sofa, propped up against the wall was a beautiful painting. Matted and framed, it was long and rectangular like the ‘landscape’ setting on a printer.

At first glance, it was filled side to side and top to bottom with what appeared to be a garden-like mass of roses. The seven colors of the rainbow were all represented in deep jewel tones of their individual shades. In the dream, it was a split second of taking it in, and then I saw my name Nancy painted in as part of the scene at the top of the painting.

Again, in a split second of understanding, I knew the papers I had proofread had been transformed into the painting. Without time to study it yet, I caught a glimpse of vignettes that comprised the array of roses. My life story to now.

(It was not the first time the Lord had visited me in my dreams using the medium of painting to show me elements of my life and what He had been up to during my journey with Him. My writing started 20 years ago with such a dream).

I jumped up and set off quickly after the two men, calling out, “Is the painting for me?!” I wanted assurance it was a gift meant to belong to me. I already knew it represented my life – while my mother wasn’t looking. And if she had been, as I know she was at times, the Lord wasn’t moved from His blueprint. He kept working in all things.

My boss had stepped into the other room with the other gentleman and was softly closing the door just as I arrived.

In the Heart of the Night, Again.

Before I continue relating the rest of the dream, I want to note that a big part of my hitting the wall was asking questions of the Lord even while knowing many times over, He is the most exquisite Keeper of the Calendar. Nonetheless, He’s the One holding it, not us – which can translate into the types of days I listed above. Having grown into a deep assurance and trust in Him can coincide with days that are beyond us at times. Both can be true at once. For me, I don’t take myself there on a regular basis. But when I hit the wall, He still surprises me. I love Him for that.

The scene changed as I realized the painting reflected a progressive work in me, but I had questions about my mother. Now it was my husband and me outside in pitch dark following behind a man who was in the lead. The sky was inky black, we could just make him out in front of us, and the phrase ran through my mind: dark night of the soul.

Only this time, it wasn’t ours. I understood it was the land we were navigating in my mother’s dark night of the soul. I remember asking the man in the lead (Holy Spirit, of course) if we would come to any light, it was so dark. (With macular degeneration darkening her eyesight and a long, hard life, her and the family’s journeys haven’t been easy). I sensed him urging us on through what felt like a very long walk. Somehow I knew that the one who painted the Nancy painting was in the light at the end of the dark night’s trek. I asked what time the shop closed; was it open till 8 or did it close at 7? I was aware the hour was getting late and we were cutting it close for arriving in time.

Then, the darkness was edged out by warm, golden light spilling out from a cottage-like shop at walk’s end. He who led us all the way through the dark was in the shop and I thought closing the door, but he was opening it wider. The shop’s owner, a woman – was there. I stepped up to the little counter to ask about my painting, but was faced with two younger men, neither of whom was the painter. My boss was not there. I perceived the still-open shop was my mother’s domain. It reminded me of a wonderful shop in my city called Mel’s, now largely downsized. This shop was diminutive in size but fit so much of our mother’s loves, likes, and not surprisingly, her cake ‘shop’.

Here she was. And yes, there was light in her spirit at the end of the trek through the dark night of the soul.

I was quieted inside and at peace. Then I woke up to greet the day and capture the dream. And ponder, in wonder. The Spirit of the Lord is lively at work, my friends.

~ Gracefully Free

¹ my boss – a reference to just one of the ways the Spirit of the Lord has shown up in my dreams and a few visions with a message for me; He’s also appeared as a real estate agent, a hostess, a race-car driver, Fabio with long golden tresses, and more.

Vineyard Days – In the Heart of the Night    

Vineyard Days – In the Heart of the Night, Part 2       

Vineyard Days – “I Have Spent Myself for You”           

Vineyard Days – His Seeking Heart of Love   

“Wellspring” Thirteenth Anniversary & Birthday Edition    

Photo: Heart-in-Hand / Photopin.jgp